The Process I Admire

At the end of 2021, I got diagnosed with a very severe disease, and this quote came to my head after I took the whole month to look back on the things I’ve gone through in the past.

If you can allow yourself to suffer, If you feel like you already want to surrender, It means you can do anything. -Beautiful Life | K-Drama

I was born and raised in a rural city called Melawi, a part of Kalimantan Barat. I grew up surrounded by many people who have conservative mindsets. So many young people are not able to dream about going to higher education in another city; they don’t even dare to think about what it feels like to go abroad and experience something valuable — supported by my parents, where my high school graduate dad and my mom who’s not even able to finish her elementary school. But their audacity to achieve a decent life for me and 2 of my older siblings is what motivates me to go beyond.

I experienced many opportunities to see other people’s lives from a helicopter view as an NGO Practitioner, making me realize that there are many lives that matter, and I can be the source of power for them to hope for a better life. My goals in life are to make sure that I can inspire others by telling them that even with all of those non-privileged backgrounds you have, you always have the chance to dream, to power to make it happen, a free opportunity to fail and learn from your mistakes, and coming out as the best version of yourself at the next second.

I’ve been through a tremendous tragedy where I got diagnosed with less life expectancy compared to other people. The journey to finally realize that my life will end is not because I can’t live anymore. It is when your influence and impact as a person ends right after you leave this world. Growing up in a very conservative environment but surrounded by endless support from my supportive family about my dream, witnessing so many people trying to fight for their lives and ambition is what makes me believe that I really don’t have to find out that I am dying to start living.

Life is about processing. This process of learning in life is something I enjoy and will always cherish. I also believe that some parts of it might inspire future or fellow young generations. I hope that the process will continue as I will be achieving milestones by milestones for the future of our country’s development in learning access for its society from the non-formal platform I wanted to build.

Life is about surprising yourself. I choose to be a fighter, to fight for what I believe made fulfillment in my life and others. When you know that your time won’t be long enough and you only have a few chances to have fun, you have a tendency to do something beyond your limit. I hope that with this courage to take the opportunity to continue my life, I will be the person who gives a glimpse of hope to others in the middle of their difficulties. I do wish from this step I take, I will be the kid who ended up fighting, and others will remember me like that.