Pulih | Recovered | Récupérer
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I just watched a movie documentary from Apple TV+ featuring Selena Gomez talking about her life in the past years with a lot of journeys that she made.
I am impressed and inspired so much by how she is actually handling all of the different emotions she had in the past and how she can take it forward to create something that is useful not only for her to feel alive but also for others.
I got goosebumps hearing the quote, “How do I Learn to breathe my own breath,” on the trailer at first. I personally think that was the most powerful sentence to be featured in a documentary trailer. Imagine what the thoughts that we need to get through until we finally realize that we don’t actually know how to breathe our own breath are.
Surprisingly, I also have that thought that I have kept telling my friends since a long time ago, ever since I got myself into the prison of mental disability in 2013, which is my OCD.
I sometimes randomly tell my friends, “I feel like sometimes if I realize that I am breathing, it just makes me hard to breathe anyway”
I got my first symptoms of OCD at 13 years old, and keep growing in me until I got my first medical result of it at 16. Then suffering from a very severe OCD effect for the next 6 years.
I watched the documentary and got goosebumps again with the sentences Selena said, “What if the next time I didn’t come back? I need to keep learning about it. Because the more you learn about it, the less you are gonna be afraid of it.”
In 2020, I posted a video about me being open about my condition to my circle on my social media.
Ever since 2020, I have been trying to hold onto the belief that I can actually live freely with this condition without hurting myself, hurting my surrounding, or even the people I love.
I do feel so related that the more you learn about the struggle or the situation that you have in life, the more you can handle it and not be afraid of it.
It has been 3 years since me living my best time with my mental disability. I feel like a lot of people out there seeking help or do not even realize that they need help. Remember to seek help, and at the end of the day… Try to manage your struggle by learning, learning, and learning from it so that you are able to not be afraid when it comes to you or even if you have to live with it for the rest of your life.
It takes time, and everything takes time.
Take it easy, and learn it.
Ask yourself now whether you actually know how to breathe your own breath or not.
Good luck, everyone 💙
