Growing up as a Questioner 🧐 who valued Independence 🥳
Before you read this, make sure you understand the 4 tendencies. It is a framework to know your personality or tendencies based on 4 types: Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, and Rebel.
*You can read more on 4 Tendencies book, written by Gretchen Rubin.
Basically, the framework is explaining on how we as a person reacting to expectations. It can be outer expectations, such as meeting work deadlines or observing traffic regulations, and inner expectations, such as quitting napping or keeping a New Year’s resolution.
Taking it into account, each tendencies types has a different way of meeting or resisting expectations.
and… Yes, I am a Questioner. 🤭
As a Questioner, we always believe in this sentences:
“I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”
What does it means actually?🙌
Questioners question all expectations, and they respond to an expectation only if they conclude that it makes sense — in essence, they meet only inner expectations. They’re motivated by reason, logic, and fairness. They wake up and think, “What needs to get done today, and why?” (Rubin, 2018)
If they decide there’s sufficient basis for an expectation, they’ll follow it; they won’t follow it if they think it’s arbitrary, inefficient, or ineffective. They tend to take direction only from people they respect. (Rubin, 2018)
I can say that I always find my motivation in everything by finding reason, logic, and fairness.👀
There are some guiding questions that I always ask myself before I make a decision.
- Why do I need to do that? What would be my urgency that can be taken forward to the circumstances?
- Why should I be the one who does that?
- What will be the end result? Why is it important to me?
Those questions help me to keep accountable for every decision (well, not literally everything). But for sure, it makes myself becoming more accountable on my decision and action.😇
Hence, it is the things that unconsciously lead me to actually lived on independence as one of my core values.
I choose independence over freedom because, personally, I believe there are some differences between both paradigms.✌️
I believe that living with freedom means you can do everything, like literally everything that you want, with no rules, with no reason needed.
But, living with independence means you can do anything that you believe is right, and it is good for you. You create your own rules without violating basic norms around you, and you can still stand out in your atmosphere. 🤩
Most of my close friends might notice, I always am the one who always asks “why,” and I always am the one who can do anything that I think is the best for me. I have the courage to make my own decision because I have principles. Soon I believe in one principle, and nobody can actually change my mind right away.
I am also becoming a very loyal person to do something in an organization. In middle school, I decided to join Scout because I personally believe that what has been told in the organization can shape me to be a better youth. Now? I am no actively involved in Scout, but I still remember every word on the Dasa Dharma Pramuka and Tri Satya.
In high school, I joined Paskibraka because I personally believe that the organization offers me leadership experience to another level (physically and mentally built). Now? I can still shout very loudly to give direction to make a straight line. LoL
Now? I still believe in all of the organizations I joined. Currently, I work as National Head of Marketing in Non-Governmental Organizations called AIESEC, which is a platform for youth that offers leadership development!
Living with this kind of personality leads me to be the one who always seems to be different than others, my mindset, beliefs, the way I answer questions, my fashion taste, the way I reach the situation, and my coping mechanism, oh and most importantly I might seem very different on how I make the decision to apply or choose any job. ✨
I once think, is it because I am a young person who is always becoming an idealist?
But that is just how I live my life, and I am proud of it (again: “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”) 🍻
